Humour is a stress buster playing a pivotal role in breaking the barriers of monotony, lethargy and passivity in life. It is the lifeline of human society, practised since time immemorial. All the ancient monarchs employed professional humorists to enliven their court life.
The Shakespearean plays are replete with humorous characters such as Falstaff and other fools like Touchstone adding new dimension to the plays. Similarly, in India, our epics and stories highlight the role played by these humorists and storytellers.
Chuckle of Jokes brings to you a string of jokes, touching all facets of modern society — politicians, lawyers, doctors, drunkards, and modern gizmos like computers. You will come across jokes related to mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, teacher-student, mistress-servant, and husband-wife, besides some funny Ad-ventures in newspapers, corny queries and some home truths.
So be prepared for some rib-tickling moments.
Dental Cavity
“You need to have a tooth pulled out,” told the dentist. “But don’t worry. You will not feel any pain. I will give you local anaesthesia.”
Flush with funds, the patient had just returned from the Gulf, he told the dentist grandly, “Don’t bother about the cost. Give me an imported anaesthesia.”
What’s the Need for Mummy! We were going to Goa on a holiday. I explained to our three-year-old daughter how we would stay in a hotel where our food would be cooked and served by others and our room will be cleaned by a maid and all our needs would be looked after by servants. As I finished, she piped up: “So, why is Mummy coming?” Alphabet Soup Boota went to a commercial institute to take lessons in touch typing as he wanted to join a call centre, but came away annoyed. “All their typewriters are defective,” he declared. “Their keyboard alphabets are not in regular order, so I came away.” Anecdote After a guest committed suicide in a Jalandher hotel by jumping from its roof, the management put up this notice: ‘GUESTS WANTING TO KILL THEMSELVES ARE REQUESTED TO USE THE RIVER BRIDGE OPPOSITE THE HOTEL.’ Modesty Blaze This is a famous one-liner from the redoubtable Winston Churchill, war-time Prime Minister of Britain about his successor: ‘Clement Atlee is a modest man who has much to be modest about.’ Hanuman, the Redeemer Mussaddi Lal’s wife had run away and he went to worship in the Ram Temple. “Hey Ram, my wife has run away, please help me to get her back.” Compassionate as He is to His devotees, Lord Ram appeared before Mussaddi and said, “My son, I am powerless to help you in this matter. Even for rescuing my wife I had to seek the help of Hanuman. So go to him for succour.” The Hospital Stalker The braggart was boasting that he had seen the inside of every hospital in town. His friend asked, “But surely, not the maternity hospital?” “Why, of course,” answered the braggart. “I was born there.” Metric, My Foot When India converted to the metric system from the imperial, a slogan was coined: ‘THINK METRIC’. A large board was put opposite the Indian Standards Institution office showing the photo of a human foot, beneath which was written, ‘This is not a foot, it is 300 millimetres.’ After a while, someone scrawled underneath: ‘And who is going to 300 millimetres the bill for all this trash?’ Ballroom Bloomer At the party held to welcome a foreign delegation at the Carlton Club, Boota had too many glasses of drinks. A little after the band struck up a tune, Boota thought that dancing was about to begin. As the President of the club, he thought that it was his duty to start the dancing, and he walked unsteadily up to the most ravishing-looking creature in the room, and said, “Beautiful lady in red, will you dance with me?” To this he got the reply, “No, I will not, and for three reasons. Firstly, you are dead drunk. Secondly, this is not a dance tune but the National Anthem of Nigeria. Thirdly, I am not a beautiful lady in red, but the commandant of the Presidential Honour Guard.” A politician was addressing an election meeting, “Brothers and sisters, I am a very modest man but I must tell you that it is I who has done all the developments in this place. It is I who got the road made. It is I who got the well dug. It is I who got electricity to this village. It is I who...” Monetary Jurisprudence Lawyer: Your Honour, I wish to appeal my client’s case on the basis of newly-discovered evidence. Judge: What’s that? Lawyer: Your Honour, I just discovered that my client still has Rs. 500. Blame Game When Vilasrao Paswan lost the election, he declared to the media, “I don’t blame any one except all of us.” Blood Hound Doctor, with some surprise, said to the husband, “I find that both you and your wife have the same blood group, B+.” Husband replied, “It’s no wonder, doctor. She has been sucking my blood for the last twenty years.” Party Preference Before the elections, OMG-Marg was conducting a survey. An investigator stopped Mr. Kapoor on his way to the club. He asked, “Sir, which party do you prefer, Congress, Janta Dal, BJP…” Before he could finish, “Bridge party,” said Mr. Kapoor and drove off. Proper-ty Reading aloud from the newspaper about the recent auction of Assam tea, I said, “Wow! A kilogram of tea was sold for two lakhs of rupees.” “Yes,” observed my daughter. “Proper-ty is always costly.” Words and Words Worth Why? Softly is an adjective made from soft, but hardly is an adverb made from hard and means scarcely. Down clearly means towards a lower place, but in southern England it is a gently rolling hill. Economy size in toothpaste means larger than usual, but in motor cars it is the smaller-sized ones.
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