Etiquette and good manners distinguish every gentleman and woman.

Courtesies are an indispensable part of civilised society at the home, workplace or social gatherings and help to ensure cordial relations amongst people.

Etiquette and manners are not instinctive, however, and need to be learnt.

While many parents, elders and teachers make the effort to inculcate the basic courtesies in youngsters, it is humanly impossible to cover all aspects and situations of etiquette.

This is a void that this book fills perfectly. Which is what makes this book indispensable reading for parents, elders, teachers and youngsters.


About the authors:

Nimeran Sahukar graduated from Loreto College, Calcutta. She thereafter secured her degree in Journalism from England. For 25 years, she has taught English in reputed schools.

Over the years, Ms Sahukar has published thirteen books from renowned publishing houses. The Book of Etiquette and Manners is her first book for Pustak Mahal.


Prem P. Bhalla has authored several self-improvement books and is particularly interested in the welfare of young people. He gives group lectures on personality and career development. Mr Bhalla has also authored several books, two of which have been published by Pustak Mahal.


Preface:
Down the ages, even when society was primitive, certain norms on expected behaviour patterns were laid down, which man had to follow. These etiquette and courtesies became integral parts of each personality where those without “manners” were branded “crude” and “uncultured”, whereas people who knew how to conduct themselves on all occasions, reflected not only “good upbringing” but were also a pleasure to deal with. How we define good manners for ourselves delineates our personal boundaries of correct behaviour.

In India, love and respect – particularly for the elderly – is ingrained into our psyche in childhood. Family values are instilled during the formative years and play an integral part in shaping individuals. But despite our best efforts, ever so often, etiquette and good manners take a backseat in our list of priorities, either because it is convenient to ignore them, or there is a genuine lack of understanding about what constitutes correct behaviour and etiquette.

This book attempts to act as a guide for all those who seek specific outlines on conventional behaviour patterns and etiquette, established originally by Western tradition, which are accepted worldwide today. It defines the difference between social and business etiquette and reaffirms the ancient saying, “Manners maketh a man”.
— Nimeran Sahukar

Content:
1. Etiquette and Manners
2. Are You What You Want to Be?
3. Etiquette and Body Language
4. The Four Magic Words
5. Etiquette of Greeting People
6. Use Me, Don’t Abuse Me
7. Standing in Queues
8. Smoking Etiquette
9. Drinking Etiquette
10. Tipping Etiquette
11. Etiquette of Making Complaints
12. Borrowing and Lending Etiquette
13. Using Loudspeakers
14. Telephone Etiquette
15. Mobile Phone Etiquette
16. Etiquette at Home
17. Dress Etiquette
18. Etiquette with Children
19. Dating Etiquette for Youngsters
20. Etiquette for Ladies
21. Etiquette with Domestic Help
22. Party Etiquette
23. Etiquette at Weddings
24. Etiquette with Pets
25. Commuting Etiquette
26. Etiquette on the Road
27. Etiquette on the Highway
28. Parking Etiquette
29. Rail Travel Etiquette
30. Air Travel Etiquette
31. Etiquette During Holidays
32. The Etiquette of Introductions
33. Etiquette with Neighbours
34. Etiquette with Senior Citizens
35. Etiquette with Important People
36. Etiquette with Foreign Visitors
37. Etiquette of Exchanging Gifts
38. Etiquette in the Park
39. Etiquette at the Movie Theatre
40. Etiquette in a Restaurant
41. Etiquette at a Club
42. Shopping Etiquette
43. Etiquette in Places of Worship
44. Etiquette at a Death Ceremony
45. Etiquette at Public Toilets
46. Etiquette in the Office
47. Job-hunting Etiquette
48. Etiquette of Changing Jobs
49. Etiquette at Meetings
50. Etiquette at Public Meetings
51. Etiquette with the Family Doctor
52. Etiquette in a Hospital
53. Etiquette of Writing Letters
54. E-mail Etiquette

Excerpts:
Chap.48. Etiquette of Changing Jobs
It is natural for young people to seek a new job and better prospects after some time. Do not change jobs just because others are doing so. Employers regard those who change jobs too often as unstable. When you find a better opening, study it thoroughly before taking it up. Consider both the pros and cons of changing jobs. Sometimes the increase in package may only be illusory.

To justify a change of job, there should be an increased salary, more responsibility, better chances of promotion, and lots of job satisfaction. You must give due notice to your present employer before leaving. But only do so after you have received a firm offer or appointment letter from the new employer. If the new employer desires a clearance certificate from the last employer, your present employer may wish to know why you are leaving. Be honest. Tell him you are seeking more responsible positions. Do not say you are unsatisfied with the current work conditions.

Most employers specify the salary and scale offered. Sometimes the matter is open to negotiation between the employer and the candidate. When changing jobs, it should not be difficult to relate the expected salary to the one you are already receiving. If unsure, make prior inquiries about what the job is worth by studying advertisements for similar jobs or through people working in similar posts. When asked, demand a salary accordingly. Never show indecision in these matters. If the employer finds you worthy of the amount you ask for, he will pay it. If you are capable and the difference is nominal, he will explain his stand to you.

In any job, you must create goodwill. Never close the doors when you leave. Always leave scope to return, perhaps to a better position. Good etiquette always pays rich dividends.

Chap.49. Etiquette at Meetings
Thousands of meetings are held daily with large sums of money and manpower spent. Unfortunately, most of these achieve nothing. To organise a successful meeting, be sure about certain things.

Is the meeting necessary? When in doubt, do not hold it. Only hold the meeting when there is a specific purpose.
Only well-planned meetings achieve their aim.

Has the meeting been properly announced? Were proper invitations sent to all participants? Has the agenda been circulated? Are all arrangements in place? For a successful meeting, ensure all these issues have been dealt with positively.

Meetings must begin bang on time. Discuss the agenda item-wise. Have writing slips and pens placed at every seat for notes. All relevant material pertaining to the discussion must be readily available. There must be no interruptions during the meeting. The receptionist must be told that no calls should be put through during the meeting, except if it is an emergency. All cell phones must be switched off. If refreshments are to be served, these must be arranged in advance and served either before the meeting or after it.

The minutes of the meeting must be appropriately recorded. If necessary, these can be circulated to the participants later. End the meeting on time. Punctuality reflects good etiquette.